yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
