Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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