Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
