three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
