I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
