If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize