I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
