end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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