ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
