omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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