I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
