I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
