Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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