i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
