If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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