He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
