Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
