It's Friday. Sex?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
