she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
