she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
