Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize
