brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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