Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
