At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
