i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Randomize
