Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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