his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
