just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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