ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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