Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
She told me I should be a condom model.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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