I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize