Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
