tell your sister to shave her snatch
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
