Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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