Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
