We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
