You really coming over, don't trick.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
