I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
