Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
