I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
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