Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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