MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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