I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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