hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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