That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
