ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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