who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I understand Curling. That high.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
