His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
