Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
