I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
