I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
