Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
