Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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