He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
jump out the window naked night went bad
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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