I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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