"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize