My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize