I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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