Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
