yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
