You work out of a Hotel?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Randomize
