Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
