do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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